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Sound Bites: the week's best TV quotes

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”Because of her lavish spending habits, Pamela Lee is said to be having financial troubles — which is strange because her two largest assets are liquid.”
— Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”CBS is now owned by a company that makes freezers; NBC is owned by a company that makes freezers; and ABC is owned by Disney, whose founder is in a freezer.”
— Paul Reiser on The Emmy Awards

”A White House doctor removed a growth from President Clinton’s neck…. Turned out it was an impacted McNugget.”
— David Letterman on Late Show

”Surprisingly, Ross Perot is doing well in several states. I believe they are denial, paranoia, and delusion.”
— Jay Leno on The Tonight Show