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Sound Bites: the week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from August 16 to August 23

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”O.J. Simpson’s ex-girlfriend Paula Barbieri is now dating Mike Tyson…They have a lot in common: Both have taken showers with murderers.”
— David Letterman on Late Show

”Bob Dole [has] proven that he’s in…great medical shape. He’s married to the head of the American Red Cross, so he can get fresh blood whenever he wants it.”
— Harry Shearer, to John Hockenberry, on MSNBC’s InterNight

”It was reported today that Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn are engaged. He’s really lucky — he doesn’t have to go through that awkward evening of meeting her parents.”
— Conan O’Brien on Late Night