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Sound Bites: the week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from July 27 to August 2

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”Princess Di and Prince Charles have finally signed divorce papers. Nobody knows for sure why the royal marriage didn’t work out, but I think we can rule out job stress.”
— Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

”The cast of ”Friends” say they want 100,000 dollars an episode. You know what I say? It’s time to make new friends.”
— Rosie O’Donnell on The Rosie O’Donnell Show

”So if you walk by the dorms and hear anyone screaming ‘Oh, Canada,’ it won’t be the swimmers.”
— Bob Costas, explaining that Canadian swimmers agreed to abstain from sexual activity during the Summer Olympics, on the opening-ceremony broadcast