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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines from April 26 to May 2

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”This Thursday, businesses around the country will be celebrating the fourth annual Take Our Daughters to Work Day. Or, as producer Aaron Spelling calls it, Thursday.”
Norm MacDonald on Saturday Night Live

”You’re just bummed they’re not making a Richard Karinsky cereal: Not-So-Cheerios.”
Annie (Amy Pietz) on Caroline in the City

”The New York State lottery will change its slogan, ‘All You Need Is a Dollar and a Dream.’ The new slogan will be ‘All You Need Is Your Kid’s Lunch Money and a Gambling Problem.”’
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”Harley-Davidson is trademarking the sound associated with Harleys. Let’s hope Taco Bell doesn’t try this.”
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show