We gave it a C-
So pink, so fluffy, so missing a plot! In Bed of Roses, Christian Slater plays Lewis, a florist who’s cute but also sad, because his wife and baby died in childbirth. Then he spies Lisa (Mary Stuart Masterson) through a window one night. She’s an ambitious investment banker who’s cute, but she’s sad, too, because she was abandoned as a child and raised by a werewolf. I mean, by a drunk guy. Lewis plies Lisa with masses of flowers, and they fall in love, but he wants instant perfection and she’s afraid, so she gets hinky and twinkles her hands around and leaves. Then she comes back, because she realizes that she really, really loves him. Then they’re happy again. Excuse me, but… where’s the beef? Director-writer Michael Goldenberg (who developed the screenplay out of his theater work) has created a pair of Peter Pan-fried characters who are professionally competent but personally retarded. This is a couple that doesn’t know how to pick partners, although they each know how to pick a really pretty living room sofa. Teenage girls may find the movie totally romantic. Adults, on the other hand, will find Bed of Roses mostly useful for interior-decoration tips.