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SOUND BITES

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”He’s hung like a club-tailed horsefly.” — Entomologist Bambi Berenbaum (Bobbie Phillips), describing a well-endowed cockroach, on The X-Files

”Van Damme is so cool. You know why? His last name’s a cussword!” — Mark (Glenn Quinn) on Roseanne

”They’re as different as night and…later that night.” — Monica (Courteney Cox), about Ross (David Schwimmer) and Russ (Schwimmer), on Friends

”I’ve just got to sit down awhile. I feel like I want to have some soup. And for some reason I want to watch women’s golf.” — Paul (Paul Reiser), after learning that his sister is a lesbian, on Mad About You