Chris Nashawaty
December 15, 1995 AT 05:00 AM EST

Cowl Play: Playing Batman has come back to haunt Val Kilmer. According to Kilmer’s Heat costar Tom Sizemore, the superhero jokes were flying during filming. ”I’d see him and go, ‘Hey, Batman. We’re in a fix. Can you get us out?”’ says Sizemore. Even the usually tight-lipped Robert De Niro got into the act. During a shoot-out scene, Sizemore asked De Niro, ”What should we do? We’re in a mess.” De Niro replied, ”I don’t know. Maybe we should ask Batman.” Kilmer finally issued a gag order. ”We had to cool it,” says Sizemore. ”It was getting annoying. Anyone would have gotten a little mad.” Where’s Robin when you need him? — Cindy Pearlman

Hunk-Time Show: Put two celeb siblings in the room and what do you get? The sort of touch-football talk only a Kennedy could love. While in Tucson, Ariz., shooting Under the Hula Moon, costars Stephen Baldwin (The Usual Suspects) and Chris Penn (True Romance) had a heated debate over the gridiron skills of their famous kin (Alec, William, and Daniel Baldwin; Sean and Michael Penn). Needless to say, a football challenge emerged. ”One of us put the idea [of a game] forth and we ran with it,” recalls Baldwin. Though the two clans never made it to the scrimmage, the actor says there’s no question which family would have won. ”The Baldwin brothers would crush the Penns unequivocally,” boasts Baldwin. Well, there is safety in numbers. — Jessica Shaw

Book Smarts: The beauty-pageant folks were miffed when Howard Stern dubbed his new No. 1 best-seller Miss America. And the more than 100 runner-up titles wouldn’t have won the shock jock any Mr. Congeniality award either. ”His penis came up again and again,” says HarperCollins’ Judith Regan, referring to such rejected titles as Dangling Participle, Throbbing Parts, and the subtlety-free Penis. Regan adds that the author of the fastest-selling book of 1995 also ”really wanted something religious, like Ass Wednesday or The Second Coming,” which was the title until the eleventh hour. But it wasn’t fear of religious-right protests that led to a last-minute change. Stern just didn’t want to go jock to jock. Says Stern publicist Hayley Sumner, ”Apparently, there was an unauthorized Michael Jordan biography coming out with the same title.”

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