Jim Mullen
December 08, 1995 AT 05:00 AM EST

1 Rosie O’Donnell Her new talk show will be like Leno and Letterman’s. You know you’re old when you can’t wait up for her.

2 White Man’s Burden You mean they finally made a film about Martha Stewart?

3 Princess Di Don’t be surprised if you pass Buckingham Palace on the road with a ”Wide Load” sign on it.

4 Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead Well, it’s the best time to visit the new airport.

5 The Office Christmas Party Be careful not to do anything stupid. People may mistake you for the boss.

6 Howard Stern The King of All Media—except movies, network TV, records, magazines, and newspapers.

7 Sinatra Auction They sold Ol’ Blue Eyes’ golf cart. To the same person who bought Arnold Palmer Sings. 8 The Beatles Their new release has a secret message when played backward: ”You just broke your CD.”

9 Extreme Fighting The only rules: You can’t bite or gouge out eyes. I always thought that was called hockey.

10 Wild Bill The gunfighter never sat with his back to the door in a restaurant. But that was the only chair in ”smoking.”

11 Madonna She says black men aren’t romantic. She shouldn’t judge everyone by her five or six hundred bad experiences.

12 Federal Express Pilots will no longer work overtime. You’ve waited two years for that liver. What’s one more day?

13 Money Train Bob Dole is blaming movies for crime again. People who grew up before films were invented feel that way.

14 Christman Shopping Peace on Earth is fine, but I’d kill for a good parking spot at the mall.

15 Amphibia The cologne for men, women, and frogs from the Muppets. What does it smell like?

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