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First Knight

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First Knight Sean Connery, Richard Gere (1995, Columbia TriStar, PG-13, priced for rental) Monty Python and the Holy Grail it’s not, but this reimagining of the King Arthur legend is still worth a few (unintended) laughs. Gere plays Lancelot as if he were Bruce Lee in suede leggings, Julia Ormond is the Guinevere of every guy’s dreams, Connery’s Arthur seems to have been lost in translation, and the costumes can only be described as J. Crew meets Star Trek. In fact, this lowbrow film is a cocktail of so many different ingredients (from Batman and James Bond to psychodrama), the video should come with a little paper umbrella. It bombed royally in theaters, and if the world were just, it would on VCRs too. D