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Sound Bites: The week's best TV quotes

TV’s funniest lines the week of December 1, 1995

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”It’s like the Hindenburg with dimples.” —Richard (Malcolm Gets), describing the Thanksgiving parade balloon of Caroline (Lea Thompson), on Caroline in the City

”I was just going to stay in my hotel room and carve Christmas ornaments out of those little soaps.” —Martha Stewart, explaining what she would be doing if not attending Ellen’s dinner party, on Ellen

”Sharon Stone said she won’t take her clothes off in any more movies. So, in her next movie she’ll be naked the entire time.” —Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”Mike uses the words wanker and bollocks now, which is a step in the right direction.” —Neil, on how living in London has changed his American roomie, on The Real World