Entertainment Weekly

Stay Connected


Advertise With Us

Learn More

Skip to content


Major Payne

Posted on

Major Payne

Current Status:
In Season
Karyn Parsons, Damon Wayans

We gave it an F

MAJOR PAYNE (Universal, PG-13) Here’s the headline: For God’s sake, don’t go! Damon Wayans plays an obnoxious, sadistic simpleton of an ex-Marine who takes a job whipping a ragtag band of Junior ROTC losers into shape. One kid’s fat, one’s deaf, one’s a suck-up, and one has big ears, so you know this stinker (based upon 1955’s The Private War of Major Benson) is supposed to be a comedy. But instead, it’s an unmitigated nightmare of crude, boorish tripe-and woe unto our nation’s future if kids find it hilarious. From the first word he brays (in a dumb-guy speaking voice further aggravated by the addition of a couple of big gold front teeth) to the last turd reference he manages to squeeze in (you heard me), the otherwise talented Wayans has sunk to a new low. The supporting cast is utterly forgettable-which is lucky for them, since they’ll probably be trying to forget this offensive project as quick as they can. F -LS