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Prime-Time Peep Shows

Sex on the networks

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So Americans aren’t having as much sex as we thought, according to the much- hyped survey out of the University of Chicago. Then what are they doing? Watching TV? Well, if they are, they’ll see a bunch of people getting a lot more action than the rest of us.

SURVEY SAYS American women average two partners a lifetime.
TV SAYS Melrose Place women have averaged five partners apiece since the series’ July 1992 premiere.

SURVEY SAYS The U.S. has 4.4 million virgins between ages 18 and 59.
TV SAYS Prime time has one avowed adult virgin (Donna on Beverly Hills, 90210).

SURVEY SAYS The majority of American males had one sexual partner in the past year.
TV SAYS Martin Tupper (Dream On) has had seven sexual partners since June.

SURVEY SAYS Americans aren’t really into kinky sex.
TV SAYS Roseanne got aroused when Dan shaved his armpits, and he has also delighted in sucking her toes; the priest on Picket Fences had a bizarre shoe fetish.

SURVEY SAYS Married couples generally meet at work or through friends.
TV SAYS Homer and Marge Simpson met in school detention (he was in for smoking; she, for burning her bra); Tim and Jill Taylor (Home Improvement) met while he hung from the roof of the girls’ dorm with panties on his head, screaming, ”Send out the virgins to wax my loins!”

SURVEY SAYS Most women think about sex only a few times a week.
TV SAYS In three hours of prime time chosen at random, viewers were prompted to think about sex 28 times. And that doesn’t include commercials.