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Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet

What the country is talking about this week …

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1 Love Affair Who would be more qualified to remake An Affair to Remember than Warren Beatty?

2 Mike Huffington He may spend $20 million of his own to run for the Senate in California. He must be smart to have inherited that kind of money.

3 Sex Surveys The latest study says married couples have the best and most frequent sex. Until the spouse finds out.

4 Cameras in the Courtroom People fear they’ll prevent O.J. from getting a fair trial. Isn’t that the lawyers’ job?

5 Burt Reynolds The new autobiography must be full of surprises. His life’s been such a secret.

6 David Crosby He needs a liver transplant. The Hard Rock Cafe wants his old one.

7 Exit to Eden Cops Rosie O’Donnell and Dan Aykroyd infiltrate a sex resort. Is there a rating for Just Plain Disgusting?

8 Princess Di Someone claims to have a videotape of her having sex in a garden. And he just remembered it now?

9 Saddam Hussein It means ”Butt-head” in Arabic.

10 Roseanne She’s the subject of two made-for-TV movies. Who’s gonna watch them both? Amy Fisher?

11 Coors Beer Workers can no longer drink brew on the job. There’s only one place you can still do that: Congress.

12 David Hasselhoff The Baywatch star plans to pursue opportunities in the theater. What, the ticket taker quit?

13 O.J. Halloween Masks Talk about sick. But always fun to wear to your local Ford Bronco dealer.

14 Linda McCartney’s Vegetarian Food Let’s squash one rumor now. She was tone-deaf before she stopped eating meat.

15 The Native Americans The TBS tribute to our indigenous peoples. We put them first on land we have no use for, then on the network.