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Sound Bites: The week's best TV Quotes

TV’s funniest lines from July 8 to July 14

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I resisted being a calculating viper as long as I could.
-Aussie bitch-model Julie (Kylie Travis), on Models Inc.

Roseanne didn’t marry her assistant either. She gets to make up this stuff, why can’t I?
-Hank (Jeffrey Tambor) trying to plant a gossip item about having a shoving match with Tom Snyder, on The Larry Sanders Show

I don’t want Rhett coming back to Scarlett. I don’t want the guy from ”My Left Foot” to become a punter for the Bears. I want Debra Winger, Ali MacGraw,and Bambi’s mother to die.
-Jay (Jon Lovitz) on not changing the endings to classic films, on The Critic

There is only one word to describe this: shameless.
Today‘s Katie Couric, without irony, after a Today show report on people capitalizing on the O.J. Simpson scandal