What the country is talking about this week…
1. The Cowboy Way Bumpkin Woody Harrelson bests city slickers. Too bad no Australian thought of this. It could’ve been a hit.
2. The Superbug The appearance of a flesh-eating germ has Britons in a panic. It must attack the stiff upper lip first.
3. Amelia Earhart Proof that it’s not only men who won’t ask for directions.
4. Renaissance Man Danny DeVito is recruited to teach soldiers Shakespeare. They learned how to shoot in high school.
5. Movie Tickets raised to $8. Rule No. 19: The customers we can’t kill with greasy popcorn should be priced out.
6. Bob Barker Model Dian Parkinson may slap him with an $8 million sexual-harassment suit. Someday everyone famous will be sued for 15 minutes.
7. Little Buddha Is this the Zen version of Gilligan’s Island? “Hey, little Buddha!”
8. The Chamber John Grisham’s new novel chronicles a KKK child killer’s death-row appeals. Not on my beach blanket, it doesn’t.
9. Warning Labels on Meat How long before some dunce chokes on one because he thinks it’s against the law to remove it?
10. Streisand’s Laryngitis Barbra, wait till after the tour to count all the money.
11. No Women Priests The Pope says Jesus didn’t have female apostles. He didn’t have a bulletproof car, either.
12. The President’s Helicopter We could save a lot of money if we turned the Rose Garden into the back nine.
13. Rush Limbaugh Married for third time. What would he say if Bill Clinton had done that?
14. Cybill Shepherd She’s launching a concert tour. Tickets are going for as much as $3.50 a seat.
15. Senators from Space A tabloid says 12 of them are aliens. The biggest shock? Bob Packwood is a human.