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Sound Bites: The week's best TV Quotes

TV’s funniest lines from May 27 to June 2

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“Your idea of romance is popping the can away from my face.”
— Roseanne (Roseanne Arnold) to Dan (John Goodman), on Roseanne

“Sydney, you are looking at human garbage who would have run you over as soon as look at you. When Michael’s dead, God’s going to do a jig.”
— Kimberly (Marcia Cross) to Sydney (Laura Leighton) as they were setting up Michael (Thomas Calabro) in a fake suicide, on Melrose Place

“Somebody said they were going to have dolls, and they were going to be able to open up Billy’s skull and see there was no brain. I take that as an insult. I went to an Ivy League institution.”
— Dartmouth grad Andrew Shue (Melrose‘s Billy) to Conan O’Brien