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The funniest TV lines from the week of April 29, 1994

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”Anyone can play those other parts. What’s it take to be a grape?… I was the leaf, man. A leaf has to be on a tree; it has to change. (In) autumn, it falls. A lot of acting experience goes into that.” -Oscar winner F. Murray Abraham on his Fruit of the Loom gig, to Conan O’Brien ”I can pretty much kiss those Ibsen festivals goodbye.”
-John Goodman on the drawbacks of playing Fred Flintstone, to Jay Leno

”Jack Nicholson showed me that shot.”
-Joe Pesci, swinging a golf club too close to Greg Kinnear’s head

”Frasier, you’re my brother, you’re entitled to my bone marrow and one of my kidneys, but this is an imposition.”
-Niles (David Hyde Pierce), trying to avoid a family vacation in a Winnebago, on Frasier