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Despite Rubdown‘s multiple improbabilities, this story of murder and faked identities is surprisingly absorbing, mostly due to its sassy dialogue. An ex-ballplayer (Jack Coleman), now a masseur and part-time gigolo, allows William Devane (doing a weird Jack Nicholson impersonation) to lure him into a pseudo-blackmail scheme that goes predictably, horribly wrong. Those looking for the erotic thriller that this is being marketed as will be disappointed — TV sirens Michelle Phillips and Catherine Oxenberg remain discreet throughout. In fact, the kinkiest thing about Rubdown is its casting of Alan Thicke as the heavy.