1 Brooke Shields and Andre Agassi Where’d these two meet? At a Mensa convention?
2 The Vice President Of women surveyed, 67 percent said they’d rather sleep with Gore than Clinton. The other 33 percent haven’t slept with both of them yet.
3 Shannen Doherty She wasn’t fired, she quit. That will be an important distinction to make on the temp application.
4 Italian Food The Fat Police strike again. Soon, restaurants will be required to have ”No eating” sections.
5 Southern California People are scared, the roads are impassable, public services are stretched to the limit. And then there’s the earthquake.
6 Blink A blind woman regains her sight in time to witness a murder. A lesser doctor and we’d be watching a movie called Squint.
7 Intersection Richard Gere’s life flashes before his eyes after a car accident. An air bag should have opened when this script hit his desk.
8 Tom Clancy The best-selling author wants to buy the New England Patriots. Too bad he can’t teach them writer’s block.
9 Car 54, Where Are You? And why?
10 Tonya Harding She’s the one who skates, but it’s her entourage that might be spending their holidays on ice.
11 Philadelphia Will America see a movie about AIDS? Sure, if they’ve already seen Mrs. Doubtfire three times.
12 The Citadel They’ve gone to the Supreme Court to keep their all-male tradition. Is their military training this out-of-date too?
13 Court TV Now, there’s a coveted demographic group—people who have nothing to do but watch the Bobbitts all day long.
14 Death Wish V More people are killed in this movie than will ever see it.
15 Michael Jordan He’s going to try out for the White Sox. He wants to play first and second base. At the same time.