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We're No Angels; Twilight Zone Christmas; Santa Claus Conquers Martians; Black Christmas; A Christmas Story; Blackadder's Christmas Carol; The Simpsons Christmas Special; The Ren & Stimpy Show

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A Christmas Story

type:
Movie
Current Status:
In Season
mpaa:
PG
runtime:
94 minutes
performer:
Peter Billingsley, Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, Ian Petrella, Scott Schwartz (Actor)
director:
Bob Clark
distributor:
MGM
author:
70670, 59566
genre:
Comedy, Holiday

We gave it a C+

Abandoned lots cluttered with pine trees, Sunday’s paper bursting with thick sales circulars, the umpteenth TV showing of Frosty the Snowman-it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. But in addition to traditional holiday fare, there are ways to celebrate the holiday from a decidedly skewed perspective. As these subversive videos prove, holiday cheer can be found in some truly strange places.

We’re No Angels (1955, Paramount) A wry comedy about three Devil’s Island escapees (Humphrey Bogart, Peter Ustinov, and Aldo Ray) who become guardian angels on Christmas Eve for a family in crisis. Twist: The season of giving from a crook’s-eye view. Christmas message: Larceny, deceit, and murder can bring their own kind of yuletide hope and joy. B

Twilight Zone Christmas: Night of the Meek (1960, CBS) A skid-row department- store Santa (Art Carney) despairs that the spirit of giving is long forgotten, until he discovers a magical sack that holds everyone’s perfect gift. Twist: The liquor-soaked underbelly of the holiday season. Christmas message: Sometimes traditional yuletide values can be found only in the Twilight Zone. B+

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964, Sultan) A deliriously awful kiddie movie in which Martians plot to kidnap Santa; costars Pia Zadora as a Martian child. Twist: The miracle of Christmas as glimpsed through the schlocky sci-fi prism. Christmas message: Try another Christmas movie. D

Black Christmas (1975, Warner) For those unwilling to go so far as to watch Santa turned into a monster in the Silent Night, Deadly Night series, here’s a somewhat less creepy holiday thriller. A homicidal maniac gets busy in a sorority house before the students go away for the holidays. Twist: Christmas as horror time. Christmas message: Don’t mess with sadistic multiple murderers on Christmas Eve. B-

A Christmas Story (1983, MGM/UA) Wonderfully oddball Jean Shepherd nostalgia (from Bob Clark, the director of Black Christmas) about nasty department- store Santas, obscenity-spewing fathers, and boys’ obsession with toy guns. Twist: Christmas steeped in cockeyed Americana. Christmas message: Happiness is an official Red Ryder carbine-action, 200-shot, range-model air rifle. A- Blackadder’s Christmas Carol (1991, CBS/Fox) Hilarious holiday special from a popular British TV series. Ebenezer Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson), scion of the thoroughly miserable Blackadder family, is the kindest, most generous man in all of England-then he gets a visit from the ghost of Christmas, who shows him his reprehensible relatives of the past and future. By morning, Ebenezer’s turned into, well, a Blackadder. Twist: Dickens’ classic turned upside down. Christmas message: Unto thine own vile self be true. A-

The Simpsons Christmas Carol (1989, FoxVideo) The Simpsons-not up to their highest standards but still amusing-face destitution and no chance of buying presents for Christmas because of Homer’s inability to earn a living or do anything else. Twist: Bart as Tiny Tim. Christmas message: Even dysfunctional cartoon families can get into the holiday spirit. B

The Ren & Stimpy Show: Have Yourself a Stinky Little Christmas (1993, Sony Wonder) In a tale that might have been called Flatulence Lost, Stimpy embarks on a heroic, heartrending quest to find his runaway trouser burp. Twist: Yuletide as a celebration of yuckiness. Christmas message: Sometimes you have to let go of those things you love, no matter what orifice they come from. A-

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