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Sound Bites

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”Did you ever wonder about that? How come aspirins are packed in childproof containers but bullets just come in a box?” —Jay Leno

”Some people feel good with clothes on, and some people feel good without any clothes on. And I’m one of those people who feels really good without clothes on.” —Sean Young on The Tonight Show

”It was so smoky that Ted Danson was in blackface again.” —David Letterman on the California brush fires

”I was woozy…praying a ball didn’t get hit to me. The crazy thing was, I came up my next time and hit a home run. So I said, ‘Man, do I have to swallow chew every time?”’ —Phillie Lenny Dykstra to Letterman on accidentally swallowing tobacco during a World Series game

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