Attention, sports fans: Athletic goals are realized in a couple of this month’s movies. An unlikely football player makes his childhood dream come true in Rudy, and Jamaica’s first Olympic bobsled team makes a name for itself in Cool Runnings. Be warned, though. Your children’s goals will probably be to see two futuristic (and very violent) flicks — Demolition Man and RoboCop 3.
THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
What It’s About: A man named Jed (Jim Varney) loads up the truck and moves to Beverly-Hills, that is.
Will Kids Want to Watch It? Yup. Even if they’ve never seen the ’60s TV series, the young ‘uns will find themselves plum guffawin’ over backwoods jokes involving outhouses, burping, spitting, and passing gas.
Sex/Nudity: Some suggestiveness.
Drugs/Alcohol: Granny (Cloris Leachman) totes a bottle of tonic; the ”governess” (Lea Thompson) drinks champagne in the bath.
Violence/ Scariness: All slapstick. Elly May (Erika Eleniak) outwrestles a bear, a shady banker named Tyler (Rob Schneider), and the captain of the high school wrestling team; Jane Hathaway (Lily Tomlin) attacks Tyler and shoots his computer; the Clampetts’ kin all carry rifles.
Mature Themes: Girls can be stronger than boys; you can take the bumpkin out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the bumpkin.
Appropriate Ages: 8 and up.
What It’s About: Four Olympic hopefuls form the first Jamaican bobsled team, coached by former U.S. gold medalist Irv Blitzer (John Candy).
Will Kids Want to Watch It? Ya, mon. Truth is stranger than fiction, and this real-life tale is a delight.
Drugs/ Alcohol: Team members talk over a couple of beers.
Violence/Scariness: A bar fight between the Jamaican and East German teams.
Mature Themes: You can get it if you really want; don’t try to copy somebody else’s style; teamwork is the key to success.
Appropriate Ages: 8 and up.
What It’s About: After being frozen in Cryo Prison for 36 years, policeman John Spartan (Sylvester Stallone) is brought back to life in the year 2032 to catch escaped criminal Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes).
Will Kids Want to Watch It? Yes. It’s signature Stallone, but because of the nonstop action — read: violence — take them to see something else.
Sex/ Nudity: Nothing you didn’t see on Stallone’s Vanity Fair cover; Spartan and Lieut. Lenina Huxley (Sandra Bullock) have future sex, fully clothed, without even touching each other; a naked woman appears on a videophone.
Drugs/ Alcohol: Spartan washes down his ratburger with a beer; Phoenix and his cohorts drink a toast to evil.
Violence/Scariness: Constant. There are so many ”murder death kills” you just become numb.
Mature Themes: Sometimes it’s hard to tell the good guys from the bad; individuality is what makes America special; these are the good old days.
Appropriate Ages: 16 and up.