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”If she has, she should be up for the Emmy instead.” -Jason Alexander, when asked by Arsenio Hall if his wife has ever faked an orgasm (which was a recent topic on Seinfeld) ”Did you know the contestants have to do their own hair? No professional hairdressers allowed backstage. Remember the good ol’ days when Miss America had a $200 hairstyle and the President did his own?”-Jay Leno, on the Miss America competition

”Let me ask you something: You were a person who worked behind the scenes for a long time. And then finally, out of nowhere, you got your own show. What’s it like?” -Late Night’s Conan O’Brien to former Bush campaign strategist Mary Matalin