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TRUE ROMANCERS

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Scene: The bloodless premiere of the ultraviolent new flick True Romance at the Hollywood Colonnade. Guest List: The creme de la creme of young Hollywood, including the movie’s stars-Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, and Brad Pitt. For reasons unknown, ’60s hipster Timothy Leary also made the trip. The Spread: Health unconscious with tubs of ice cream, bins of popcorn, pounds of cookies, and bushels of french fries (which Brad Pitt washed down with white wine). Best Distraction: Watching a bevy of Elvis impersonators direct traffic onto the dance floor. Best Film Synopsis: From squeamish costar Bronson Pinchot: ”It’s not action- adventure, it’s violent as hell.” Best Dancing Fools: The pensive Penn brothers (Christopher and Sean) were about to leave when they were both coaxed onto the dance floor by Emily Lloyd, who was very into the ’70s disco groove.