1. Adam West
After all these years, he admits he hated Batman. Like he had a choice between that and A Man for All Seasons.
2. Reselling CDs
The record companies are furious. They don’t want anyone ripping off the public. That’s their job.
3. Wesley Snipes
Ever think you’d see a movie where Sean Connery would be the second-sexiest man on screen?
4. The Boutique
Let’s hope the clothes don’t cost an arm and a leg.
5. Marla and the Donald
She says he can’t bring himself to say ”I do.” That’s odd, he never had any trouble saying ”I did.”
6. Intellectual Property
NBC and CBS are fighting over who owns the character of Larry ”Bud” Melman. Isn’t that anti-intellectual?
7. The ”Fat Pill”
Eat what you want and lose weight. Take one whenever you run 10 miles, and watch the pounds melt away.
8. Operation Heartland
Clint Black, Willie Nelson, and John Mellencamp performing to help the flood victims. Better make sure there’s a rain date.
9. George Harrison
He’s suing to keep neighbors off his lawn in Hawaii. Can’t he buy a hose like other cranky old men?
10. Robin Hood: Men in Tights
We had no idea Sherwood Forest was in the Catskills.
11. Dan Rostenkowski
In deep trouble over the House Post Office. Seems the Elvis stamps kept leaving the building.
12. MGM Shake-Up
The lion’s roaring again. They all do when they get fixed.
13. Killer Bees
Don’t worry, Houston. The chances are a thousand times better that you’ll be murdered first.
14. The Dan and Connie Ratings
Rather didn’t need her to become No. 3. He could have done that himself.
15. Miss America Rule Change Now
they have to do their own hair and makeup for TV. Who did it before? Tammy Faye Bakker?