1. Sonny and Cher Miniseries
Fox tells their inspiring true story this fall. They would’ve done Mother Theresa, but she doesn’t show enough navel.
2. Mississippi Floods
Anchors from all three networks showed up. Look what it did for Bosnia.
What if people this dumb and silly had taken over the Earth? Or did they?
4. Save the Whales
Free Willy has stirred the debate about inhumane treatment. If only there were a movie called Free South Central L.A.
5. Elton John VS. Barbara Streisand
He says she insulted Republicans at an AIDS fund-raiser and they walked out. She should apologize immediately — to both of them.
6. Another Stakeout
Wonderful! Awesome! One of the year’s 10 best! Not as a movie — as a tax loss for the producers.
7. Madonna 101
The University of Colorado offers a course on her. Must be for those who flunked MTV.
8. Poetic Justice
Not until you get your poetic license, young lady.
9. The Ginsburg Hearings
If senators had to go through this process to win their jobs, they’d ban it.
10. Rising Sun
Murder against the backdrop of Japan Inc.’s ”unfair” business practices. Like it’s their fault we hire out-of-touch, overpaid execs.
11. Jessica DeBoer
Who should get this child — the biological parents or the adoptive parents? Or do I hear another bid?
12. Kennedy Marriages
It seems all the Kennedy cousins are taking the plunge. Goodbye Au Bar; hello Chuck E. Cheese.
13. John Grisham
The author of the The Firm got $3.75 million for the movie rights to his next book. Now you hear actors say, ”But I really want to…write.”
14. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
But how do you explain the Village People tattoo?
15. The Partridge Family
It holds up very well. It was bad then, and it’s bad now.