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SURVIVAL OF THE HIPPEST

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What should you bring to make it through the 11-hour show, not to mention the extra hour’s wait on a line so long that folks at the end are probably closer to home than to the gates? A random sampling in the parking lot of the Shoreline in Mountain View, Calif., turned up the following: One girl toted a pet snake and a bottle of Evian. A surfer dude came equipped with a spare shirt, some bread, and avocados. Melissa Gee (near left in photo at right), 20, wore a backpack crammed with towels, jeans, Mad Libs, water, Chex Party Mix, and The Chronology Of Mythical and Historic Dynasties. ”I have class ; right now at Sacramento State,” she explained. A few more tips for surviving Lollapalooza ’93: 1. Bring lotsa cash. (And if you plan to suck down some brews, bring ID.) As a red-blooded hangin’-at-the-mall type of kid, this is what your day might cost: T-shirt, $23. Smart drink, $4. Bone necklace, $45. Guatemalan Hacky Sack ball (coolest parking-lot time killer), $3. Alice in Chains shorts, $33. Souvlaki, $5. Hemp cook book, $1.50. Temporary tattoo, $12. Total (including $29 ticket): $155.50 Yikes!

2. Bring a hat and drink plenty of water. Summer heat + moshing + brewskie dehydration = heat stroke = time to go home.

3. Bring earplugs. They don’t mean you’re a wimp. We hear even Henry Rollins wears them. Especially useful during Tool’s set.

4. Bring War and Peace or a Gameboy to entertain yourself on bathroom lines. Why? Because it’s a world of cruddy porcelain and Porta-Johns, and it takes several extra minutes to plan creative solutions to the ”There’s no toilet paper!” dilemma. Tip: Everyone rushes to the can during the 15 minutes between band setups. Best time to alleviate bladder stress is during sets by breakthrough bands like Arrested Development. (You’ve seen them on MTV Unplugged anyway, right?)

5. Bring a working knowledge of moshing etiquette. It’s okay to tell the skinhead that putting his Doc Martens on your face hurts your feelings. But don’t mosh near steroid-enhanced individuals whose blue shirts read ”Security.”

6. Don’t bring the following if you plan to stay the day: Funny cigarettes, flasks o’ booze, weapons, and recording devices.

7. Finally, know where the Survival Tent is. They sell condoms, sunscreen, Band-Aids, tampons, and earplugs. And go to the tent if you’re feeling queasy. It beats reading ”American Standard” hunched over the toilet.

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