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FROZEN ASSETS Shelley Long, Corbin Bernsen (1992, FoxVideo, PG-13, $95.98) Made in America didn’t really birth sperm-bank humor. To turn a foundering bank into a money-maker, a corporate executive (Bernsen) arranges a contest for the largest sperm count so that the establishment can fill an order for 5,000 vials at $80 a pop. The bank’s manager (Long) is horrified by both the competition and the exec. But not for long: True love coyly triumphs. Despite some amusing and bizarre moments, the movie smells of television, populated with characters for whom the phrase ”Die, yuppie scum!” might have been coined. C- -LO’T