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Villains from Hell

Villains from Hell — We offer up some new movie ideas that borrow from the recent trend found in ”Indecent Proposal” and ”The Stepfather”

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It all started with The Father Figure From Hell — The Stepfather, in 1987. Suddenly, Hollywood had a whole new, immensely profitable genre. Next came The Fling From Hell (Fatal Attraction), The Tenant From Hell (Pacific Heights), The Nanny From Hell (The Hand That Rocks the Cradle), The Policeman From Hell (Unlawful Entry), The Roommate From Hell (Single White Female), and The Office Worker From Hell (The Temp). But with the recent box office failure of The Lovestruck Teenager From Hell (The Crush), the Blank-From-Hell seems like an endangered species. Damn, say it isn’t so. Maybe Hollywood just needs a fire lit under its imagination:

TITLE The Deep End
PREMISE Pool Boy from Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Remind me to tell Lance to lower the chlorine level — Omigod! I can’t see!”

TITLE Stronger than Dirt
PREMISE Maid From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Isn’t Consuela wonderful? She’s even rearranged our Tupperware shelf… Hey — who broke the handle on my luckyt tall ships weekend mug?”

TITLE Power Clipper
PREMISE Gardener From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”It’s so cute the way Bob talks to the ivy.”

TITLE Terminal Hold
PREMISE The Time Life Operator From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Hello, I’m interested in the free Sports Illustrated video… What do you mean, you’ll be right over?”

TITLE The Hand That Throws the Paper
PREMISE Paper Boy From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Honey, why does this paper have tomorrow’s date? Whoa! That’s me — in the obituaries!”

TITLE Quiet on the Set
PREMISE Actress Fom Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”I’m really happy to be working with you Ms. Basinger.”

TITLE Envelope, Please
PREMISE Oscar Winner From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”I dedicate this to the Dalai Lama and the good people of Tibet, whom I must thank individually….

TITLE Broadcast Noose
PREMISE News Anchor From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Good evening. You are getting very sleepy.”

TITLE Tongue-Tied
PREMISE Shoe Salesperson From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Th-th-these snakeskin boots seem to be m-m-moving!”

TITLE Man’s Best Friend
PREMISE Dog From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”I’m sorry, Buddy, but Benji says I’m not allowed to feed you.”

TITLE One-Way Trip
PREMISE Ticket Agent From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Yes, I could get you on that flight, but I don’t have a good feeling about it.”

TITLE The Bookworm
PREMISE Librarian From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”Your overdue. That’s not good.”

TITLE Fabulous!
PREMISE Model From Hell
PIVOTAL DIALOGUE ”I’m having a very, very bad hair day.”