1 Taster’s Choice Couple
They’ll have to sleep together in Macy’s window before I’ll drink instant coffee.
Sharon Stone’s racy return to the screen. If it were any more graphic they’d need Marlin Perkins to narrate.
3 Walt Disney
Reports say he was a Hollywood informant for the FBI. In return for naming names, they gave him the secret formula for Flubber.
4 High-Profile Commencement Speakers
One thing they never ask on job applications: Who spoke at your college?
5 Cheers Eulogies
Goodbye, Sweeps Prince.
Mario Van Peeble’s tribute to black cowboys of the Old West. It’s historically accurate. They really did wear 10-gallon X hats.
7 Rod Stewart Unplugged
Even his hair looks like he took his finger out of the socket.
8 Bob Hope
How old is he? The first Christmas he entertained the troops, they were at Valley Forge.
9 Anna Nicole Smith
The Monroe-esque Guess? model and Playmate says she doesn’t exercise and eats real food. No wonder men love her. She’s exactly like them.
10 Country Music Babylon
Garth unfaithful? Dolly loose? This should have been called For Those of You Who Came in Late.
11 Lost in Yonkers
Better than being found in Fresno.
12 Jerry Lee Lewis
He owes the IRS $1.6 million. They’ve threatened to sell his black velvet paintings if he doesn’t pay.
13 Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
If only Albert Einstein had been a minor movie star, he too might be worthy of a film biography.
14 Janet Jackson
Riding the media wave with a hit record and a new movie. Good thing she didn’t have La Toya’s parents to hold her back.
15 The Arnolds vs. ABC
Some comedians can make comedy out of misfortune. These two work the other way around.