1 Homewrecker Sharon Stone
Newlywed Naomi McDonald says the sexy star ”stole” her husband. Guess nobody heard him screaming for help.
2 Rising Sun controversy
If they think this is Japan bashing, wait till they see Bridge on the River Kwai.
3 ”Selling women” movies
Honeymoon in Vegas, Indecent Proposal, Mad Dog and Glory, etc. Time to get back in the kitchen — the Year of the Woman is over.
4 Chuck Norris
His Walker, Texas Ranger ran out of production money. Does it cost that much to make a TV series about middle-aged mutant ninja cowboys?
5 Susan Dey
She’s leaving Love & War over ”creative differences.” Whew! At least it wasn’t because she’s not funny.
6 Marla Maples
There was a time when you got married before you held the press conference announcing the pregnancy.
7 The John Gotti Story
The Dapper Don finally gets his own book and movie. The horse’s head in the producer’s bed worked again.
8 Lisa Bonet-Lenny Kravitz divorce
The first sign of trouble? She stopped wearing the wedding ring in her nose.
9 Fawn Hall’s engagement
The wedding invitations will come on shredded paper.
10 Earth Day
Why does everyone like it so much? The place is covered with dirt.
11 A League Of Their Own
The worst show on television. As much fun as Gun Day at Yankee Stadium.
12 Marvin Mitchelson
What do lawyers call going to jail for 30 months? Trolling for clients.
13 Paul Shaffer
He’s holding out for more money to go to CBS. What network wouldn’t be better with more band leaders and fewer vice presidents?
14 Madonna, The Early Years
This is what happens when potty training goes bad.
15 Ivana Trump
Her line sold out on the Home Shopping Network. It’s perfect to wear on Court TV.