Jim Mullen
April 16, 1993 AT 04:00 AM EDT

1 Amy Fisher’s book
Good thing she can’t sell it door-to-door.

2 Willie Nelson
On the road again with his best album in years. Where else does he have to go?

3 Delta Burke
She’s taken Tom Arnold’s time slot after Roseanne. But she lets him park wherever he wants.

4 The president on Cheers
They’ve offered the Republicans equal time…on Star Search.

5 Mike Tyson’s Muslim name
Malcolm Ox.

6 April 15
The best things in life are free. After this, you’ll be able to afford so many of them.

7 Spurs posse
Once upon a time you couldn’t talk about sex in school. Now you can letter in it.

8 Debbie Gibson
Turned down an ”offer” to appear nude in Playboy. It didn’t take long to go from teen idol to just idle, did it?

9 K-Garth
A radio station plays all Garth Brooks, all the time. He’ll be around a lot longer than they will.

10 Susan Lucci
If she had won an Emmy 14 years ago, no one but soap opera fans would know who she is.

11 Hee-Haw
What’s worse — thinking it had been canceled years ago or knowing it was still on?

12 Six Flags vs. Disney World
Bugs Bunny tangles with Mr. Mouse. It’s a small, vengeful world after all.

13 Shelley Long
Crawling back to television after a dismal movie career. Good Advice would have been to stick with Cheers.

14 James Brown
He’s threatening to sue rappers for sampling his music. Papa’s brand-new bag is a briefcase.

15 Bill Wyman’s ex-wife’s mom
The former Rolling Stone’s 30-year-old son plans to marry his onetime stepgrandmother. They’ll have to do the family tree in pencil.

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