1 St. Patrick’s day parade
Funny that God would give him the power to drive the snakes out of Ireland but not the gays.
2 John Travolta
The neighbors object when he lands his jet in front of the house. Busybodies.
Get it? They’re policewomen!! At least they didn’t call it Cups and Robbers.
4 NASA for sale
Peddling billboard space on the side of a rocket. How long before a space shuttle pulls a sign for Sea World’s Baby Shamu?
5 A Far Off Place
Kids save animals from evil poachers. Remember to stop for burgers on the way home.
6 Martin Short
They say he’s good in Broadway’s The Goodbye Girl. Fine. Anything to keep him off screen.
7 How’d They Do That?
How to jump out of a plane with a big board tied to your feet. Just one more example of TV’s power to educate.
8 Clint Eastwood
Picking up another Best Director trophy. It makes sense. You can’t give him an acting award.
The beeper of the ’90s. I’ll have my laptop call your laptop. We’ll do E-mail.
10 Waco, Texas
Just when you thought about leaving the big city for the traditional values of small-town America.
11 Ethan Frome
Liam Neeson in another downer. Jack Kevorkian wants a video of it to help set the mood when he works.
A comedy about the rap-music business: the Ice Capades.
13 The Twiggy look
If these clothes make $10,000-a-day models look unattractive, imagine what they’ll do for us.
14 Iditarod race
I watch it just for the crashes.
15 NBC for sale
The garage opens at 7 a.m. Cash only.