1 Sir David Frost and Sir Anthony Hopkins
So they’re like royalty. Do they have to leave their wives now, or is that optional?
2 Jeremy Irons
They had to cut some of his sex scenes in Damage to get an R. Or they could have added a chainsaw massacre and gotten a G.
3 Deep Space Nine
You go where no man has gone before and then make a left.
4 Lorenzo’s Oil
Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon take on the medical establishment. If doctors knew everything, Willard Scott would be wishing more of them ”Happy birthday.”
5 Parents from hell
The Dickens version of Home Alone. How else can you have kids and afford to go to Acapulco?
What’s soft and white and six feet tall? I-80.
7 The Smothers Brothers
All 71 shows are back. They’ve held up better than the domino theory.
8 Charlie Rose
He’s taking his PBS talk show national. First topic: ”MacNeil/ Lehrer and the Women Who Love Them.”
9 Carol Moseley Braun
There must be something in the Senate air. She’s acting more like a middle-aged white male every day.
10 Bill Wyman
The Stones are looking for a new bass player. At their age, they’ll be lucky to find a bass fisherman.
11 Rob Reiner
It’s hard to believe that the same guy who did Spinal Tap directed A Few Good Men. It’s just not that funny.
12 Choosing Chelsea’s school
And stay tuned as our pundits discuss whether she’s old enough to pierce her ears.
13 The Bodyguard
It’s making scads of money in spite of bad reviews. Romance 1, Critics 0.
14 Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
Jane Seymour ”doing it all” in 1860! And for our next anachronism: Doc Holliday, Frontier Psychiatrist.
Some critics named it the best film of ’92. Not-so-great minds must think alike, too.