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Armed rockers in movies

Armed rockers in movies — Silly on-screen quotes from musicians, including Chris Isaak, Elvis Presley, and David Bowie

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In the movie Trespass, the Ices Cube and -T swap rapid-fire raps for bullet-spitting weapons and lines like ”I’m gonna blast greedy little suckas that trespass.” Musicians-turned-actors often pack heat in order to pack audiences into movie theaters. Unfortunately, toting a gun seems to shoot a digit off rockers’ IQ scores. Here is some perilous prose from ammo-fortified pop stars.

Chris Isaak, clown-faced hit man at fast-food window in Married to the Mob (1988): ”Bonjour, hola, willkommen, howdy — may I take your order?”

Elvis Presley, malcontent cowpoke in Charro! (1969): ”You got a cannon pointing at your head, and you’re willing to let a buncha riffraff make you crawl?”

Kris Kristofferson, Billy the Kid in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973): ”That last thump got my guts going. I need to go to the outhouse.”

Johnny Cash, laconic lawman in Stagecoach (1986): ”Just because a man doesn’t wanna die doesn’t mean he’s yella.”

David Bowie, bartending bandit in The Linguini Incident (1992): ”They’re blanks, dear.”

Reba McEntire, mercenary homemaker in Tremors (1989): ”You didn’t get penetration, even with the elephant gun!”