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Our take: 'The Real World'

Our take: ”The Real World” — With a cast of Spike Lee, Tori Spelling, and Vanilla Ice, here’s what we’d like to see happen…

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TV’s experiment in cinema verité, The Real World, threw seven telegenic young men and women together in a SoHo loft for 13 episodes and let them squabble in a like-wow-everyday kind of way. Audiences were hooked; the Real Worlders were briefly famous. But what if the roommates had been famous to begin with? As MTV prepares to film an all-new Real World in Venice, Calif., EW proposes a cast: Spike Lee, Tori Spelling, Martha Stewart, Axl Rose, Carrie Fisher, Vanilla Ice, and Jerry Seinfeld. (Hey, it worked for Jeopardy!)

*EPISODE 1 Carrie, researching her next novel, finds new and interesting uses for Martha’s turkey baster. Jerry attacks Axl for puking on his sneakers during the group’s housewarming party; cops are called in.

*EPISODE 2 The gang supports Axl by having their managers book comp tix to one of his concerts. Vanilla, jealous of Axl, stays home and does push-ups all night.

*EPISODE 3 Racial tension escalates! Tori’s Stussy cap and Spike’s X cap bleed in the wash.

*EPISODE 4 Jerry brings home a puppy. Martha and Tori argue over what color sweater it should wear.

*EPISODE 5 Carrie’s divorced parents (Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher) hurl juice glasses at each other during a visit. Cops are called in again.

*EPISODE 6 After discovering photos of Vanilla in Madonna’s Sex book, Spike and Jerry dance around the apartment singing, ”Nice nice undies.”

*EPISODE 7 Axl attacks Martha after she uses his bandannas as curtain ties. Cops refuse to answer the call.

*EPISODE 8 The show is abruptly canceled when the stars fail to renegotiate their contracts.