Admit it. You’re going to get turkeyed, pumpkin-pied, and eggnogged to your stomach’s discontent over the next few weeks, and you’ll end up feeling bloated enough to fit in a Santa suit without the pillow. But help may be a videotape away. Just in time for the food-festive holidays come three fitness tapes from three very different celebrities with a common goal: They want to pump you up, or at least pump up their purses.
Take Marla Maples’ Journey to Fitness, in which the star of the Trump triangle and Broadway’s The Will Rogers Follies continues her dubious achievements in sexy red Lycra. After confessing that she was once 20 pounds heavier and suggesting a five-minute cardio warm-up, Maples begins her 45-minute workout of stretching, toning exercises for the lower body, and free weights (required accessories for this tape). After a cool-down and a major off-camera primp session, which gives her a tousled, casual look, our cheerleader captain concludes with a pep talk about positive thinking and visualization. One cheesy highlight: Her fat-days fantasy of her skinny self running on the beach in a white, flowing dress is reenacted for our inspiration. Taking herself a little too seriously, Maples projects the image that inside every couch potato, there’s a beauty pageant contestant just dying to bust out.
Jennie Garth, who plays Kelly on Beverly Hills, 90210, comes off like the girl next door in her leggings and (eventually) sweaty bangs during her 50-minute routine, Body in Progress. The only one among these celeb exercisers to include low-impact aerobics, crucial for fat burning, Garth is also the sole exerciser to huff and puff — with live sound, not voice-over — during the requisite if repetitive cardio workout. She follows leg work and floor exercises for the usual trouble zones with a cool-down and surprisingly sensible girl talk. Admitting that the daily readout on the bathroom scale used to rule her moods (throwing it out cured that), Garth tells how even celebrities have to eat right — and enough — to get through a busy Hollywood day.She seems genuinely concerned with the fitness and nutrition of teenagers and concludes the program with information on how to get help for eating disorders. Strongly recommended for teens looking to ”reduce their jean size” the practical way, this tape is for anyone ready for a serious session in the TV room.
In Dixie Carter’s Unworkout, a 70-minute yoga routine, the silk pajama-clad star of Designing Women doesn’t even break a sweat. More like a party hostess than a fitness trainer, the 53-year-old Southern belle, who admits up front that she isn’t much of an exerciser, guides us through stretching and breathing exercises with hilarious, self-deprecating commentary. Also amusing are the wacky bons mots, such as ”Don’t make yourself a mouse, or the cat will eat you,” that are sprinkled throughout. When Carter does ”The Lion” — a stretching exercise during which she sticks out her tongue, looks up, and makes a long, strange noise — it’s obvious that not even she is taking herself all that seriously. If you’re more interested in relaxing than reducing, give this tape a try.
Journey to Fitness: C- Jennie Garth’s Body in Progress: A- Dixie Carter’s Unworkout: B-