1 Forever Young
Rip Van Gibson wakes up after being frozen for 50 years. Why do movie stars last 49 times longer than leftover turkey?
2 Roseanne versus the critics
You can’t please everyone. Give the Arnolds credit for not even trying to.
3 Eddie Murphy
Imagine the letters the press would be getting right now if he had married Roseanne.
The latest wacky accessory for teens. They don’t use them, they just collect them. Like condoms.
5 Christie Brinkley bounced
What focus group said they’d watch more CNN if only there were more stories about big hair and fun bracelets.
6 ”Fightin”’ Shannen Doherty
The Beverly Hills, 90210 star gets arrested in a bar brawl. What happened — somebody forget to recognize her?
A child-man toy maker fights off evil warmongers. Home Alone With a Few Good Men.
8 Mushy Christmas TV specials
I’m waiting for A Very Brady Christmas Chainsaw Massacre.
9 House of Blues
Dan Aykroyd’s homage to the Blues Brothers. How long before a rap group opens an I-HIP HOP?
10 Barney, the dinosaur
How did this popular reptile get so big and cute? He ate Raffi.
11 Interviewing killers on prime-time TV
Isn’t that exactly why they do it?
12 Roxanne Pulitzer divorce
Who’s her marriage counselor — Cher?
13 Guns N’ Roses
On their Latin American tour. Payback time for Menudo.
14 Farrah Fawcett’s exerstik
If you want to know who’s falling for this gimmick, it was first called the Dumbasastik.
15 Nixon dirty tricks, continued
What a guy! Who else could preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution by trying to doctor evidence?