1 Endless Letterman rumors
If it’s gonna change your life whether he’s on ABC or NBC at 11:30 or 12:30, you don’t have one.
2 Spike Lee
Thank God he’s black. What would we need with another Oliver Stone?
3 Catherine Crier
Moving from CNN to ABC. Welcome to the ”Stepford Evening News.”
4 Beauty and the Beast video
A million-seller overnight because Disney knows kids will watch the same movie over and over again — even if it’s good.
5 Marketing green M&M’s
Teen legend says they make you horny. I always thought being a teen made you horny.
They say it’s a big hit at the box office ”because blood-sucking is sexy.” How do they explain mosquitoes?
7 Power struggle
Hillary thinks Bill should concentrate on domestic issues, but he wants to dabble in foreign affairs.
8 Brigitte Bardot
She had an accident. So I sent her a rabbit’s foot for good luck.
9 The Bodyguard
Whitney Houston plays a flamboyant pop diva in her film debut. Unless you are one, how can you tell if she’s doing it right?
10 Christmas windows
But who can afford to window-shop anymore?
11 Gays in the military
Funny, isn’t it? Straight men are afraid of being subjected to the ogling they think women enjoy.
12 Brooklyn Bridge cancellation
A quality show with oodles of family values. Where’s the remote?
13 Howard Stern/Filipino duel
Send Imelda. No matter who loses, we all win.
Make this a happy holiday. Eat safely.
15 Women priests
Question: If God is a woman, who created men?