1 Tim McCarver/Deion Sanders
You wanna hear the world’s biggest lie? Sports builds character.
2 Christie Brinkley
She has her own style show on CNN, Living in the ’90s. She makes Elsa Klensch look like John McLaughlin.
3 Annie Potts
Retiring from Designing Women after seven years. The contractors finally finished a job they told her would take two weeks.
4 Reservoir Dogs
If it’s so good, why is it winning all those film-festival awards?
5 K.D. Lang
So now she has a pop hit. Proving once again, you can’t make it in Nashville without Big Hair.
6 Kathie Lee Gifford
Telling all in her new autobiography. You’ll be appalled by the sex and violence: There isn’t any.
7 Canada’s upside-down flag
Saying we’re sorry isn’t enough. Let’s give them North Dakota and call it even.
8 Black leather and whips
They give a whole new meaning to the phrase, ”I thought you had the keys.”
9 Naomi Judd cured
It’s a double miracle! Wynonna didn’t commit suicide when she found out.
10 Cat On The Hat hats
Dr. Seuss is the Ralph Lauren of the MTV set. It could’ve been worse. No one looks good in a Horton Hears a Who T-shirt.
More senseless, gratuitous violence — mainly against women. Who produced this — the Tailhook Association?
12 Fall foliage
The roads are clogged with leaf freaks. Sure, God can make a tree, but only you can use your turn signal.
13 I’m a Big fan
What does it say about football if CBS’ Uncle Fester look-alike is the target audience?
14 Mr. Blackwell
How hard can it be to diss 10 people a year? Try it once a week, buddy.
15 Pure Country
Will George Strait’s fans go see him in the movies? Well, that’s one way to spend the alimony.