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Naked TV

If all shows went au naturel, we bet programs like ”American Gladiators” and ”Baywatch” would rise to the top of the ratings

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Naked TV

Put on your X-ray specs and picture a braver new world of TV — a small screen of the future on which absolutely everyone would be naked. Just think: Overnight stars would be born, 60 Minutes would be history, appendix scars and thunder thighs would be displayed for the world’s edification. And the Nielsen ratings would take on a flesh-toned hue. Here’s a projection of the 10 shows that would rise to the top of the Nielsens if TV were, as the neon signs say, ALL NUDE, ALL THE TIME!

1. American Gladiators
2. Melrose Place
3. The 1992 Summer Olympics
4. The Bold and the Beautiful
5. Beverly Hills, 90210
6. MTV’s House of Style
7. Baywatch
8. Studs
9. Living in the ’90s With Christie Brinkley
10. Calvin Klein Theatre

Of course, every fantasy has a downside:

94. PGA Golf
95. Cooking With the Great Chefs of New Orleans
96. The Golden Palace
97. Dinosaurs
98. Anything on C-SPAN