Pows and zaps notwithstanding, the thing about the ’60s Batman TV series that makes it ideal for young viewers is those silly, make-believe-world villains. Decked out like kids playing dress up, onetime stars such as Milton Berle and Ethel Merman hammed it up as the likes of Louie the Lilac and Lola Lasagne. In the same spirit, here are the villains we’d like to see should Batman: The Next Generation come to be.
John Davidson as Mel Odious, an evil song stylist with the power to turn his enemies to stone by flashing his blindingly white teeth.
La Toya Jackson as Aspwoman, a chameleon-like, boa-toting temptress whose Snake Pit houses every slithery creature she can find; she also can remake herself in the image of someone more famous.
Mark Gastineau and Mickey Rourke (alternate seasons) as Punchinello, a failed pugilist turned street-fighting clown whose frighteningly bulbous crimson nose is actually part of his face.
Telly Savalas as Zoltan Peppyr, a mild-mannered librarian who, after getting conked on the head by a clumsily filed history tome, believes he’s a fearless Hungarian warlord.
Jackie Mason as The Kibitzer, whose incessant, inflammatory, and impenetrable chatter alternately bores, enrages, and confounds his foes.
Jimmie Walker as The Stick, Bruce Wayne’s erudite, rich-guy rival, whose Mr. Hyde-like profligate personality plans to destroy Gotham City landmarks with DYN-O-MITE.