What the country is talking about this week…
1 SIGOURNEY WEAVER You want a better ending for Alien3? Have Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd show up.
2 MURPHY BROWN You can’t buy publicity like this.. Wait a minute! Could they have paid Dan Quayle to mention the show?
3 HAITIAN BOAT PEOPLE The USA is no longer the world’s policeman. Now we’re the world’s lifeguard. Everybody outta the pool!
4 CALIFORNIA PRIMARY Why do people say the system keeps the best people from running, Senator Bono?
5 THE TONY AWARDS Broadway’s celebration of itself. At $60 a seat, you’d be singing and dancing too.
6 A SPIKE LEE JOINT He asked black stars for loans to finish Malcolm X. I thought he said the Koreans had all the money.
7 PATRIOT GAMES Harrison Ford as the secret agent of the ’90s — James Bond Lite.
8 MENOPAUSE Forty million baby boomers going through the change. And you still think God’s a woman?
9 TIM ROBBINS He’s become the hot Hollywood property. Too bad we can’t guarantee him a happy ending.
10 BRANFORD MARSALIS The best thing about the new Tonight Show. But who picked the curtains? Doc Severinsen?
11 FAR AND AWAY Women like it much more than men. A great date movie — you’ll never run into the same guy twice.
12 CLAUDIA SCHIFFER The ”Guess?” girl is fuming over nude pictures taken while she was backstage at a fashion show — changing into a see-through outfit.
13 ROSS PEROT If he gets any more popular, the post office will want us to vote on his stamp.
14 BUNGEE JUMPING A fad becomes a craze. It was hard to find something that takes less skill than not falling down.
15 PAT ROBERTSON He picked up UPI for a hymn. He says he won’t slant the news — that’s a job for professionals.