What the country is talking about this week…
1 The Oscars Whew! Thank God no one tried to ”out” Jack Palance.
2 Bill Clinton Maybe he didn’t inhale. But what was in the brownies?
3 White Men Can’t Jump
They’re already working on the sequel, Black Men Can’t Bobsled.
4 White House Privileges
C’mon, Congress. ”I bounced checks because the White House gets limousines” is not a good excuse.
5 ”Instant Karma” For using this song in an ad, the people at Nike will come back in another life as an attraction at SeaWorld.
6 The New York Mets
They’re trading a relief pitcher and a minor leaguer for a lawyer and a paralegal to be named later.
7 The Queen Revival
If only he’d been funnier in Wayne’s World, this could have been an Alice Cooper revival.
8 Tammy Faye Bakker
Don’t you get the feeling Jesus rolls his eyeballs every time he hears her name?
At last, a musical for the whole family. Just one question. Where are they gonna find a whole family?
How did he get that close to Oswald? The same way this movie got near theaters — lots of people made lots of mistakes.
11 Sharon Stone and Dwight Yoakam
Lisa Hartman and Clint Black have started a trend. We saw Madonna buying Oak Ridge Boys records.
12 Alan Dershowitz
We’d like to meet him, but we’ve never been convicted of anything.
13 Ted Koppel on Carson
First Liz, now this. What hard-to-book act will he have next? Ferdinand Marcos?
14 Edward James Olmos
He’s turning into the Hispanic hair shirt, but at least he uses his own hair.
A Rodney Dangerfield movie. Not up to his usual standards.