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Learn how to be self-centered

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First came the sweet-to-syrupy paperback best-seller Life’s Little Instruction Book (Entertainment Weekly, 106). Now St. Martin’s Press delivers Life’s Little Destruction Book, a windfall for cynics that promises 512 ”pointers for leading a simple, self-centered life.” Our favorites:

* No. 21: Tell the ending of movies.
* No. 40: Ask people what they paid for their clothes.
* No. 44: Mumble.
* No. 47: Take your boom box to the beach.
* No. 115: Record over a borrowed VCR tape.
* No. 117: Nurture conspiracy theories.
* No. 309: Tell children the truth about Santa Claus.
* No. 332: Ask how people are, but don’t wait for a response.
* No. 354: Use more plastic.
* No. 480: Lie with statistics.

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