1. Young Indiana Jones
It’s good old-fashioned, fact-stretching, credibility- straining adventure. Just like Geraldo.
2. Wayne and Garth
Please tell me they didn’t work on my American-made car.
3. My Cousin Vinny Joe Pesci as the lawyer from hell.And what better place to find one?
4. Liam Neeson & Brooke Shields
The good news is that they’re an item. The bad news is she thinks he’s William Hurt.
5. Negative Advertisements
What a way to get votes-saying, ”My opponent stands for even less than I do.”
6. CBS’ Scorch
Very nostalgic. It reminds me of those days before VCRs and cable, when you had to watch this crap.
7. The Player
Robert Altman’s poison valentine to Hollywood. If you feel insulted, you know you’re on the A list.
Finally, we don’t have to take the kids to the Louvre anymore.
9. The Brock Adams Incident
The new McCarthyism-innocent until accused by an anonymous source.
10. Sandra Bernhard in Playboy
She’s calling herself an ”alternative” beauty. We used to call it having a great personality.
11. United Way Scandal
Brother, can you spare $435,000 a year? And a limousine? And maybe some Grey Poupon?
12. Armand Assante
He makes The Mambo Kings a real date movie. It has a great score, and the music is pretty good, too.
13. The ”Fertility” Doctor Scandal
Dad, why is there an asterisk next to the ”where do babies come from” question?
14. Blame It On The Bellboy
Bronson Pinchot will get all kinds of awards for this. In France.
15. Saddam Hussein
A surgical strike, Saddam killed, Bush goes up in the polls 20 points. But what are the chances of that happening?