It was to be the ultimate lost-boy matchup: Steven Spielberg directing Michael Jackson in a remake of Peter Pan. That was the course charted back in the mid-’80s, but a rights-clearance hang-up grounded the project, and Hook ultimately set sail sans Jackson. Yet isn’t there more than a trace of the Peter principle in Michael’s current ”Black or White” video? Compare and see who you think is the badder Pan-meister:
Opens with a dad missing his son’s baseball game, which makes the boy really angry.
Has the boy get even by drawing a picture of Dad catapulting out of a plane into the night sky with no parachute.
Features a stiff, overweight Robin Williams learning how to fly with the help of a racially mixed group of Lost Boys.
Stars a villain who wears a scary hook in place of a severed hand.
Drags when too many scenes show the Lost Boys playing with Peter and smashing up Captain Hook’s ship.
Has dazzling transformation effects built around an actor once known as ”Mork.”
Climaxes with Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) disappearing into the belly of an alligator.
Cost $70 million for 135 minutes, or about $.5 mil per minute.
Is the work of a man with too much money, no one to say no to him, no clear idea what his audience wants anymore, and a misplaced belief in the divinity of children.
Black or White
Opens with a dad demanding that his son turn down the stereo so he won’t miss a TV baseball game, which makes the boy really angry.
Has the boy get even by blasting an electric guitar, catapulting Dad into the night sky with no parachute.
Features a stiff, underweight Jackson learning new dance steps with the help of a racially mixed group of street kids.
Stars a hero who wears a silly cast in place of a sequined glove.
Drags when too many scenes show Michael playing with his peter and smashing up a store window and a car.
Has dazzling transformation effects built around a new technique known as ”morphing.”
Climaxes with Jackson disappearing into the body of a panther.
Cost $4 million for 11 minutes, then got cut to 71 2 minutes. Final tally: about $.5 mil per minute.
See Hook entry.