What the country is talking about this week:
1. THE WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION LOOK
Double-breasted collarless jacket, scoop-neck blouse, and pearls. All from the Susan Dey shop?
Dustin Hoffman modeled the evil Captain Hook after William F. Buckley. They had to rate the movie Neo-Conservative 17.
3. TERRY ANDERSON How will we ever explain Vanilla Ice to him?
4. BARBRA STREISAND
The Princess of psychoanalysis. You really should watch this movie on a couch.
5. ROBERT MAXWELL
You bet he disappeared. Who’s really in that grave? Anyone seen Baby Shamu lately?
6. WARREN BEATTY
Making a star of Bugsy Siegel, the man who invented Las Vegas. And people say America doesn’t have any heroes.
7. THE SUN
The tabloid admitted in court that its stories are mostly fabricated. Elvis was shocked when he heard.
8. COURT TV
In terms of cable-television excitement, it’s giving C-SPAN a run for its money.
9. HARRY CONNICK JR.
Doing the AmFAR stomp. Be quiet. He’s a tough act to follow.
10. ROBERT DE NIRO
Brilliant in Cape Fear except for the wash-off tattoos. Where’s his commitment?
11. AT PLAY IN THE FILEDS OF THE LORD
Someday Michelle Pfeiffer will wonder why Kathy Bates is getting all her parts.
12. ARLO GUTHRIE
He’s trying to buy the famous church in Alice’s Restaurant. Guess we lost one more in the ”’60s Triangle.”
13. CHER’S BUTT
Is that what’s selling her new album or is that what’s singing it?
Oliver Stone’s reshoot of history.Guess he didn’t like the first take.
15. CAROL BURNETT
”I’m so glad we had this time together…not!”