When stars at the Country Music Association Awards weren’t thanking God, the President, and Mrs. Bush, they were handing out and accepting trophies with dazzling efficiency. Compared with the Oscars and the Grammys, the Oct. 2 CMA presentation came off slicker than, well, most city dwellers. Shucks, we think the whole affair deserves some awards of its own:
Best Outfits: The matching Future Farmers of America jackets worn by the Kentucky HeadHunters.
Best Use of the Pointy CMA Trophy: Garth Brooks, who seemed to clean out his left ear with it.
Best Delivery: Tanya Tucker, Female Vocalist of the Year, who couldn’t accept the award because she’d given birth to a 7-pound, 7-ounce boy, Beau Grayson, her second child, hours before the telecast.
Best Shameless Display: Dolly Parton warbling ”Eagle When She Flies” backed by an I-am-woman-hear-me-roar choir costumed as everything from cop to astronaut.
Best Tribute to the Power of Nashville: George Bush’s confession that ”when I need a little free advice about Saddam, I turn to country music.”